


Cockroach

by stroma



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Cybernetics, Drug Use, Dum Dum is basically the ''well mark me down as scared and horny'' meme, Excessive Swearing, Existential Angst, F/M, Flirting, Internal Monologue, Intimidation, Size Kink, Smut, Strength Kink, Totentanz, Vaginal Fingering, Woman on Top, but also emotional constipation? Just like borg feels, cyborg sex?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:55:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28094247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stroma/pseuds/stroma
Summary: She’s a damn ‘ganic tease, looking for some fun in every corner of night city, on any job or heist she might get in this shithole.So he goes with it“Wanna have a feel?”He shouldn’t have fucking mixed lace and red sand, he swears he should just like stop with the dorphing for once and get his shit together and just shut the fuc-But she laughs, and leans in even more, and he can now see that her face is so smooth, too smooth to hide mods or tech or knives or any other goodies.Basically, Dum Dum longs to be the cockroach that V threatens to stomp him out as, and V is getting just a bit too desperate for an outlet. A cyberpsychotic, dorph hazed outlet.
Relationships: Dum Dum/Female V (Cyberpunk 2077), V/Dum Dum
Comments: 53
Kudos: 209





	1. Chapter 1

She’s fucking pretty, for being all ‘ganic. Royce hisses ‘bout how you can’t tell apart all these meat faces anymore. They’re the same fleshy shit over and over again, with the chrome just bein’ hidden ‘way in some cases. V doesn’t need a whole ass weapon room to be stuffed inside her in order to wreak havoc. She somehow manages without, as the preem prole she is.  
He got a glimpse back at the base when she sliced, hacked, stomped and sometimes even choked through Militech like they were All Food meatbags, shiny and freshly chopped. It was like he couldn’t follow what the fuck was happening in the fight before it was over. He didn’t expect her to slaughter them, after she just gave them a clear chip all free and without asking. She and that fodder masso were clearly on the same wave and just pushed through. 

So now at Totentanz when she said she’d stomp him down like a cockroach if he asked ‘bout him again he fucking believes her. She looks much smaller without that hulko tailing her. Still, her brass knuckles catch the red light, and her eyes flash, latest Kiroshi, as she snarls. She’d do it in a second. And while he ain’t above poking and pushing for fun, especially when it would be a solo chick keen on offing him, he just opens up the door. The thumping music basically crashes into them and her head is turning left and right. Def hasn’t been here before. He starts turning, but then she leans in closer and - 

“Hey, how you got those teeth” 

Fucking did not expect that, but then he gets it

He remembers V as being ready to correct him ‘bout the damn bot specs and hella pleased to tease Royce while getting away with backstabbing Militech and using their own dirty cred.  
Now when in Totentanz that she’s being all talkative an’ interested it’s as difficult to understand as then. She’s just a damn tease, looking for some fun in every corner of night city, on any job or heist she might get in this shithole.  
So he goes with it

“Wanna have a feel?” 

He shouldn’t have fucking mixed lace and red sand, he swears he should just like stop with the dorphing for once and get his shit together and just shut the fuc-  
But she laughs, and leans in even more, and he can now see that her face is so smooth, too smooth to hide mods or tech or knives or any other goodies. 

“Come ‘ere” 

Her palms have a thermal mod, rough and freshly installed it seems, but it’s only her finger tips that are about to touch him.  
She’s smiling, and he parts his lips just a lil bit and then her finger pads trace his teeth and he can’t say this ain’t one of the weirder things he’s done at Totentanz. She nudges his lip ring too just for shits and giggles it seems, before pulling away. It barely feels like anything. Like he’s pretty numb, fucking savours it usually, each mod making it easier. But now he’d do a lot lot for her to just press in so that he can-

“You like your metal huh” 

That’s one way to put it yeah

“Ya know I like other stuff too”

He’s so fucking obvious now, like no reason to even try and pretend. Like she can quip back now, verbally whip him. She’s not gonna come here more, and he’s not gonna see her, she’ll be running around doing her solo shit while he’ll be getting a fix in some dump and that’s gonna be it.  
She’s quiet though, only smiling a bit.  
Her skin stretches fluidly in her smile, with no obstruction like his and she’s for sure amused, if not also enjoying herself. Her lids lower a bit, momentarily, bathed in the red light from his mod, the club, and her own blush.  
She’s abashed and caught off guard and other stuff he didn’t think she’d be. He thinks he likes it. For fuck’s sake. 

He clears his throat, the mechanical reverb making her look up again, still unfocused.  
“I’ll take you to Royce and that Bes chick as you wanted”  
And she just does this little nod.  
It’s weird. The change a lil comment has on her. She kinda shuffles behind him now as he leads her through the club, but he can feel her staring. Some BDed sucker almost crashes into them midway but Dum Dum can’t give a shit anymore. 

As they reach the lounge Royce is best described as reaching the limits of his very limited pool of patience.  
“Who’s she, another media?”  
He fucking well knows who it is. It took a long ass while till the base stopped talking ‘bout the two solo’s visit. But Rocye would rather lick a corpo’s ass than give in. So as the fed up but patient man he is, Dum Dum supplies in anyway  
“It’s V, from All Foods”  
He sneaks a glance at her. She’s back to standoffish, but then she smirks, her posture relaxes and she’s all the way back to making Royce look almost comically unreasonable. 

“Huh, didn’t think you’d be into mainstream music fan outlets Royce” 

Royce looks like he might throw her off the aisle. She also doesn’t forget to slip in a quip with their Ebunike dock, before cutting the jabs. Fucking sharp of her, cause by the time she reveals that she wants to talk to Bes in private Royce is more than ready to leave. 

And he knows he shouldn’t let her, cause the way she strolled in, all high strung, she is clearly in here for something else than getting smashed and stuffed. Not that he’d object to the latter. 

Whatever that Bes woman has or knows, she is talking animatedly to V bout it. And before Bes comes back to the couch, for the routine scan, V drifts past him. And she is so blatant, the nerve of her, as she whispers that she’s just going to the toilet. 

“I’ll come back alright” she breathes out. He just fucking doesn’t care anymore, Royce should have been more careful. 

“Soon ‘kay” she adds, softly. 

They both know she won’t return anytime soon.

But in the morning, when he’s the most amped out, her contact being randomly added to his chip drags him back into a high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeahh, I wrote this really quickly, I apologise for the abysmal slang used but I don't know enough about the universe yet. Idek what exactly is going on between those two but I liked their interaction in game so there we go. My take on it I guess.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to continue this, a bit spontaneously. Thank you everyone who reviewed!

“You in Totentanz again?”  
He wouldn’t have noticed her message ping ‘ver whatever schmuck’s disc tonight if he hadn’t been outside, getting more dorph.  
“Sure am, ground floor”  
“Preem”

She comes conveniently just as he is vaporising the freshest S-keef, potent and paralysing as fuck. Leaning against the wall, he tilts his head back, staring at the dripping ceiling. Getting pulled into ’nother wretched scheme right now would just about shortwire him. Letting her scrape by last time out of Totentanz just like that was a one time offer. She better have something wiz tonight.

She doesn’t even blink as he exhales all the smoke in her face.  
“Can I have some of that junk? I finished all you gave me”  
He would have eventually offered some anyway, she looks like she fucking needs it now, real bad.  
“Heh, that the only reason ya wanted to meet up?”  
V looks like she doesn’t know what to say at first. But then she takes a step closer, grazing his shoulder. Her hand is too light again, shaking a bit.  
“Nah, just wanted to say thanks.”  
Her eyes flutter, she’s fidgety and it feels like she’ll step back any secon-  
“I’ll take that”  
It’s more than what he’d thought he’d hear.

She is reaching for the inhaler now, carefully, and he is too fucking engrossed to not stare at her as she’s taking a hit. She coughs a shit ton of course, and she gets some snot too. She’s turning away from him now, embarassed, but his mod catches it all and then some.  
“Ya sure you really managed to finish my other stuff?”  
He snorts as her watered eyes squint back at him.  
“It really fucking burns if you don’t have a three inch thick metal pipe instead of a throat okay?” V hisses out  
“Woah easy, why ya even want this shit, for your caliber I could offer a lil pick me up nicola or maybe even so-“  
“Oh fuck off”  
He squeezes her hand as she hands him back the inhaler, and he thinks she’s gonna recoil now for sure, but she’s just tilting her head side ways, examining him. What the fuck was she thinking messaging him out of nowhere. 

He presses into her hand with his, tracing those steel knuckles. How fucking preem would it be to have’em wrapped tightly ‘round something. She looks decievingly innocent and all that shit he’d expect before being fried to a lil scrap heap.  
He glances down, and her hand is completely engulfed in his. She’d do it probably, like he can fucking imagine her right here and now just frying and jerking him off in this leaky corner to prove him wrong and if that ain’t her kind of move he doesn’t know what is.

V must be fucking reading that filth off of his mind cause she’s grinning now like the cat who got the cream.  
“Buy me a nicola first”  
She winks at him cheekily and just heads off, seemingly slithering through the masses. She’s swift and light on her feet. He finally catches up to V near the elevator. Inside that slow piece of shit it all feels ‘xtra unreal. It’s too warm and stuffy and he scratches the back of his head, lost.

“Hey um, ya serious ‘bout the Nicola, cause like as much as I wanna get you a drink there’s no chance in all trip-six we got that here”

V is smiling even more now. She takes his hand just as the elevator doors screech open, and rushes them out, past that gonk Ellis, who’s too out of it to even register anything  
“Nah no worries, I know a place” she says, full out giggling at this point.  
She pulls him out to the back parking lot, near all the rubish bins and junk and scrap. The air is crisp, clear, and feels hella fresh after the TT interior.  
Smack in the middle of that cold lot there’s a rusty soda automat. 

“This the place ya meant?” Fucking hell.  
“Yeah, not the cosiest but hey, I like my privacy”  
The pink neon gives her face a glow.  
Dum Dum feels like he’s been played a whole fucking bunch as he beeps in one can.  
It rolls out with an echoing screech. V jerks it open tensely and takes a long sip. All while looking at him, stirring his sorry remains of a gut.  
“Want some?”  
Her lips are real shiny.  
“Nah”  
He can’t bring himself to say more cause by then she steps in and her mouth is so fucking hot and sweet against his he can’t fucking believe it. He can taste fucking everything. All that nicola and her ‘ganic flesh, slicking wet. She’s pulling at his dreads as he starts backing her against some wall and her breathing keeps getting faster and faster till she’s gasping in his mouth. The metal on his tongue prods at the smooth so so soft inside of her mouth, stifling her sounds. Her hands are touching his face, tracing all the mod lines and piercings, ‘xploring. Still, he can barely feel a thing.  
“Y’gotta press in harder”  
“Harder yeah” he breathes out  
She finally fucking gets it, presses in more, digs her steel nails into his shoulder connection only to meet wires and no blood. She pulls away, and he can’t tell if it’s cause she’s shocked or repulsed out of her skull. She doesn’t have any big mod or tech. She probs has no clue how it feels. How little he feels.

“I’m almost numb ‘kay?”  
They break apart even more now and she’s looking up at him, her eyes flickering ‘cross his face. But then she grins  
“I won’t be gentle then”  
“Yeah, no, wouldn’t feel shit otherwise”  
“But same goes for you, yeah? Don’t go easy on me”  
If this is some pride thing, Dum Dum has no fucking clue, cause for what a sucker punch she can pack, V herself looks like she can’t take much of a slamming.  
She must see that he’s sceptical, cause she pulls his head down, real hard this time.

“I wanted that S-keef from you for a reason you know”  
She’s tracing his jaw now, almost absentmindedly.  
“I’ve been feelin’ real out of it all, and I need to kinda set my mind on other stuff if you get what I mean”  
All the talking is getting her further and further away from making sense to him, still, not gonna pressure her.  
“This after ya flatlined all that Arasaka scum, ‘cluding their fucking emperor?” He chortles.  
“I didn’t fucking kill the emperor!” She looks indignant  
“Huh, just as I was ‘bout to buy you ‘nother drink for just for that ” He’s making a gesture towards the ridiculous ‘mat again but her expression stops him.  
“It’s serious, I was meant to steal something hella important, and then Jackie got corp zeroed and I was forced to do something that fucking messed up everything in my life”  
She’s spewing the words out now, and he has no clue what to do. Her brows are furrowed, and her eyes seem distant.  
“So like I need to, I need you to not think I’m not serious. When I say I want you to be rough with me I fucking mean it”  
She’s flushed, glistening, still breathing heavily.  
After all that V looks ready to merge with the wall behind her.

“I can do that”  
He sure fucking can.  
“‘N I don’t mind doing more ya know” 

He’s offering a lot of shit, like fucking listening to all her tangents cause somethin’ is keeping him glued.  
He doesn’t know what the fuck it is that makes him so careful with her. Maybe ‘cause she appears to be on the edge of cracking. Not even like getting cyberpsychoed and hexed, just out of it. V looks bout ready to shortwire. Just like a net ghost, some larger than life heist stuck forever to her net handle now, all wrought out and distorted.  
“Let’s, let’s just message yeah? I’ll see you around”  
He’d slot it with her in a sec, that’s for fucking sure. She just needs to want it, and right now V looks too fucking scared and spent to be propositioned some shit like this. 

“Sure yeah, I’ll be ‘round”  
She looks so relieved when he backs off from cornering her that he almost feels guilty. Her thumb flicks across his chest skimming the exposed chrome. Dum Dum wants her to wander till she’ll glide all over his tech, up and down.  
The way she’s clearly into it makes him wanna freeze. Wants her to keep doing it, to go further, delve.  
She hooks in her thumb into one of his neck ports, and traces a stray wire with the ‘nother. Her eyes flicker up at him, latest brown kiroshi.

“Thanks again”  
She’s kissing him, slower and harder. Caressing all the metal.  
He’ll take it over and over yeah.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I was overwhelmed with all the nice reviews, and continued this mess.

It’s a bizarre sight to say the least. Dum Dum in her fucking apartment, Johnny pretend gagging in her periphery all while Jackie is def crossing his chest in a prayer up and above.

The only corporeal body in all this shitshow is sprawled across her couch, examining what seems to be with measurable interest her lacking disc collection. He thumbs her Lizzy Wizzy “Best Of” album and she feels ready to die just a little bit more on the inside. How does her mind even have any energy to be embarrassed? She squashes down Johnny’s “As you should be” and decides to sit down opposite of Dum Dum.

“Go on, you’re just twitching to say something about my prole music”  
He glances up at her, or rather all seven of his mods do, and it’s hard not to stare.  
“Nah, pegged you as not bein’ a cochlear plant nut way before this”  
He’s smiling, and it’s odd, how his face doesn’t seem to be built for it anymore, but it works somehow. It’s a smile, and he’s being friendly and nice and shit she’s weak if all she needs nowadays is some niceness here and there. 

“What gave me away?”  
She takes the disc from him, just to hold onto something really. All this shit in her apartment has seemed extra useless recently, and talking about it now pulls her back weirdly. 

“Well, you ain’t too patient for one”  
He chortles, and the mechanical reverb of it sounds foreign in her apartment.  
“And to ‘ppreciate our kind of sound you gotta listen in a bit beyond ‘n all that”  
She can’t help herself but to butt in.  
“Ah don’t come at me with all that complex snobby shit Royce was spewing about Tinnitus. Like sure she’s preem, and all that, but I think Royce just wants to do her”  
She smirks, perhaps a bit too victoriously, and he seems amused  
“Heh, you ain’t wrong ‘bout that, Tinnitus has ‘im by the balls by now with her avoidin’ and Royce got it bad. But that ain’t all of it, Royce’s real set on making TTC more “xclusive, by playing only ear mod stimulating stuff like that, and pushing out all the unmodded, boring as fuck gonks.”  
She proceeds to roll her eyes and huff loudly, and is interrupted by his snort. He seems to like her dramatics.  
His red mods are still fixated on her, and it’s pinning, freezing.  
“So like, say, playin’ Lizzy Wizzy, that’d be a no no for you guys yeah?”  
“What, ya mean if like Lizzy Wizzy waltzed her shiny chrome ass to TTC and did a gig, all free for all of NCs psychos?”  
“Hypothetically”  
“I’d fucking love to see it yeah.” He exhales.

Imagining it all makes her giggle, and he looks at her a bit more intensely.  
“See, I didn’t think you’d be into that”  
He catches onto her coy tone and his grin widens, his chrome teeth flashing.  
“Hah, she might be a bit too high end schmucky chrome for me, but hey, I gotta respect her ware. Don’t need to have a type for that”  
“Good to know you aren’t too picky”  
It’s meant as a joke, but he seems to take it seriously, even though he laughs.  
“With a mug like mine, kinda can’t afford to, scares most of the ladies ‘way”  
Upon hearing that V feels a twinge somewhere. He’s looking pointedly at her now, and he’s smirking, his arms are crossed behind his head. Relaxed and assured. 

“What if I told you it’s just cold curiosity from my side?”  
“Then I’d say y’should have fucking gotten yourself one of our X BDs. Hell, I would have given ya a free one from my stash, just had to ask me real’ nice”  
He’s clearly enjoying himself and V feels whatever she’ll say won’t change his sudden self satisfaction.  
So she advances on him, if all pretense is meant to be gone. If anything his grin just widens.  
When she straddles him she can already feel him, aroused and painfully hard.  
“Look at yourself, so turned on, and nothing’s even happening”  
“Can’t blame a guy for liking the view and convo”  
He’s being dead honest. He fucking wants her, real bad, and the thought, the thought makes her breathless.  
She’s stalling, cause this development, this sudden rush of actual want wasn’t part of her fucking plan.  
“What kinda view you even have with these?” She traces around his optical mods, and at first he flinches but retorts in a second.  
“A whole fucking bunch yeah. Know where to hack you, know where your fucking place has its main board, can see your thermal stat just going off the ledge”  
He hisses the stuff out in one breath, before grasping her chin.  
“I can fucking see you heating up, all bloody ready”  
And he glances, down and down until he’s staring hungrily at the apex of her thighs and V has to remind herself to breathe.  
“Touch me then”  
“Ya don’t want that”  
“I fucking do”  
And she’s taking his gloves off herself, and as they glide off the cold metal she knows she shouldn’t be shocked or put off but what remains of his hands. They are akin to claws, dark, sharp edged and jagged. Before she can change her own mind she slides off her rags, and Dum Dum drags her into him before she can even step out of them.

He starts prodding her, lightly, and the coldness of his digits makes her shiver. It’s discomforting, alien, and like nothing she’s ever felt before, and V doesn’t know what to do, how to make it work out. She rests her head on his collarbone, and from there she can see the way his whole forearm is fucking connected and wired to that metal pole he has instead of bone now and the way it turns, like cogs, as he pushes it in like a piston and it keeps going. V feels lightheaded. His middle finger thrusts further into her now, and the way it parts her and stretches her stings and hurts and its violent almost. She can’t hold back the wince of pain. It’s not-she’s not-  
He finally stills then, completely, and tilts her head up.  
“Y’sure you wanna keep going?”  
If she looks at him too long V thinks she might start to cry. Her head is spinning. She fucking thought she wanted it rough.

In response she wraps her arms around his neck, and presses herself close. Hides herself. She can feel his heartbeat, and V feels dizzy. Dizzy at her own thoughts.  
She can only wonder what the fuck isn’t wrong with her at this point. What was she thinking, getting fucking metal rawed at her own call. 

“Some motherfucking borged out junkie finger fucking you? That what you gonna do to get me out of your head? Hah!”

Johnny is gleeful, sitting there, crosslegged, just watching her take it close to tears and V just wants to prove them all so wrong. But she’s a fucking mess.

She takes a while before nodding, but by then Dum Dum’s pulling away, and she’s scared he’s gonna just leave her here with Johnny taunting her. She can’t do this. She doesn’t dare to look up at him, hides her face, from Johnny, from all his eyes, and she can only wonder what they caught from this whole encounter.  
But neither of them are leaving.

Instead he pulls her underwear back on, and just traces her cunt on the outside. She still squirms a bit when he accidentally pulls a bit but it’s decidely better, nicer even. Her circles her clit lightly and his red mods are fixated on her face and it’s all too much. Too fucking unexpected. Her breath is shaky, hitching, and she can feel her eyes tearing up again, but his other hand lays itself on the back of head, the wiry claw-like fingers light, careful. They’re moving a bit too, in some weird motion, jagged in their comfort.

He pulls her in further into him, and she’s splayed in his lap now, her back on his thighs, knees curled updwards and the position is so vulnerable, so exposed and open she can feel her hearbeat all the way up in her throat, beating in her ears. The way Dum Dum’s examining her makes her curl inwards, her legs clamp shut, but the hand petting her so awkwardly stops her. 

“Lemme, lemme see ya a bit”

And even thought it’s not phrased as a question, she gets it. He’s as fucking lost as her. He has stopped touching her since then, and V feels cold, her sweat almost freezing on her own skin.  
He runs his hand on her leg, but doesn’t go further. She parts it for him.  
“Can you-could you touch me again?”  
He’s surprised, happily it seems. He is zeroed in on her.  
“Didn’t think you’d wanna”  
“I uh, sorry.”  
She doesn’t know what exactly she’s apologising for. All sorts of stuff she supposes, and he must get it too cause he clears his throat and looks away.  
“Should’ve blunt my fingers for ya”  
He looks abashed for once, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.  
“I - I shouldv’ve figured you’d be a bit more, uh, fleshy, down there than the ladies I’m used to yeah”  
“It’s fine, just a bit gonk.”  
“Yeah, fucking gonk of us for sure”  
The silenece after is easy going, and when he reaches for her again, V doesn’t protest. He’s running his hands more confidently along her body now, but his gaze is still fixed on her face, the red light scattering in her vision. She closes her eyes, and guides his hand inbetween her thighs. She is featherlike in her touches, showing him what she needs, but he is grasping the circular motion quick. His other arm curls around her waist, and props her up further against his chest in one motion, startling her

“Just watch yeah” he rasps, and V can feel the mechanical reverb all the way to her toes.  
As she starts to retract her hand he grips it and pushes it further down, down her own body.  
“Ya gotta help me out here”  
“You’re gonna make me touch myself?”  
“Yeah, ya gotta prep yourself, cause hell, as much as I like to see you slotted and stuffed, don’t wanna see ya all shaky from my mods”  
It’s not an arrangament she is opposed to. Not all in fact.  
So she does, touch herself that is, all while he continues to trace her on the outside of her panties, as carefully as he can. Watching him do that to her, all while she’s fucking getting herself off all rough and dirty feels so wrong, and like she should be hella ashamed, but it’s exactly what she wanted.  
And he likes watching her, judging by the way he angles his head. When she dips in, real deep, he exhales, and sucks on her shoulder, his lips both so warm and cold. She speeds up, and he follows, his digit flicking at her clit, while rocking her entire body into him, gripping her. He’s hard, so hard everywhere but especially right there in his loin that she’s sprawled over, and V feels like she needs to feel more, to see more. Imagining what his chromed out dick could look like makes her clench around her own fingers, makes her wanna feel the blunt stretch, the cold metal. He’s pressing his hips into her, touching her, so frenzied now, and her own fingers are there for her imagination of being filled by him and-  
“Fuuuuuck”  
“Just like that yeah”  
He’s murmuring into her ear now, warm huffs of air.  
“Look at yourself huh, just look how fucking wet you are and I ain’t even doing ‘nything special”  
...  
She’s twitching, her thighs shaking and he can see with his mod how her cunt is pulsating, so warm, and he wants to stuff her but can’t, so he just keeps on circling her lil bud while making her watch.  
“Ya said you wanted it rough, but look at this, so putty in my hands cause you just want me keep on giving it to you all soft n’ gentle like the good girl you are.”  
At that she lets out something close to a whine and he feels like he’s having a short-circ.  
“Fucking knew it.”  
V spasms, and her mouth opens in her orgasm and it’s all so pink and fleshy and soft he can almost imagine it all happenin’ twenty years ago, when he was just a bit less modded, a bit more compatible with a ‘ganic chick like her.  
Vs face is flushed, more flushed than his own could ever be with all his synth blood. Her head is lolling to the side and he feels like he’s gotta hold onto her cause otherwise she’d slip away.  
She’s comin’ down from her high, and she seems sated, her whole body reaching out to him. She’s fucking chrome like this, all spent and glistening and he doesn’t even mind the ‘ganic smell, her fluids, the sweat. Fucking hell. 

“Next time-if you’ll wanna, I’ll use my mouth on ya”  
She smiles at his offer, and is now kissing his temples, all slow like last time. Her hands are tracing his chest, sneaking beyond his vest. Him getting her off loosened her up, and she’s straddling him now.  
“Only if you promise it’ll fit better than these”  
She whispers as she grasps his hands.  
“Can’t promise no metal luv”  
And he kisses her back, real deep and wet, his piercing tracing everything and then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yis so this happened :0  
> I guess they’re like fuck buddies now?? Like weird, emotionally constipated and anxious fuck buddies.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pretty chunky rewriting. Took way too long, but I feel like it captures a bit more the confusion, the vulnerability of them together.

She’s covering him, her slick ‘ganics, body too fucking soft, draped over his chest and trembling. It’s only by her place that V unravels, always late at night, clings to whatever wiz he happens to have. 

Inbetween her huffs from the dorph feedings and soft gasps there are mutterings, of Silverhand, some god and even his own name. Dum Dum catches the whispers, exhales of static. 

He’s learned how to tune her, follow her own digits, how to make her sob with his stuff. V keeps takin’ it alll in, in desperate gulps like she can’t ever be loaded and filled to the brim.  
And Dum Dum wants - needs to see that edge of vulnerability cross her face. Cause watchin’ her body coil and curl under him might as well be the preemest shit he’s ever seen.

V herself is clingin’ onto whatever organic dreams she’s tryin’ to echo here. Her mouth covering his, sometimes kissing, sometimes whispering praises. 

Shit’s become a routine. Some fucked up solo gig done, V’s pupils still blown wide from the adrenaline, his drugs, shaking, and her face flashing ‘cross his holo vision, in varying states of bloodied and messed up. Always grinning, askin’ like it’s still some secret if he wants to come by and slot her up.  
Fucking ritual, like heatin’ up dorph, clockwork, pressin’ the release, inhale, pressin’ his tongue into V. Her body splayed, in the darkness of her apartment, twitching above his mouth, pressing. 

Makin’ her feel good, seeing V hold onto him - soothing her ache, the one burning in her mind and cunt, he almost gasps, cause he fuckin’ wants it all. 

She wants it too. Has been wantin’ for a while. Whispered to him how she’s been imagining him wiring up into that deep part of her. Filling the gaping hungry hole left in her after Jackie’s flatlinin’, her own cruisin’ in the dark till Rockerboy Johnny took over, Misty’s sobs. V has been in a state of longing and need.

“Let me- please let me-“

She told him. About her impending death, Silverhand moddying her ‘ver. Dragged him down to that Misty’s chick shop, at night, so that no poor civvies got a heart attack. And there she babbled, asked him what he thought of all that stuff. He ain’t some fucking buddhist, but there’s some enlightenment in kickin’ it and dying. Going deep down, not feeling any shit anymore for a while. Makes him think it ain’t all that bad. 

V on the other hand looks sometime like she’s ‘bout to crawl out of her skin. Not for grabbin’ more chrome, but in the hopes of gettin’ a new body. Like she’s itching for fucking reincarnation to happen while she’s still alive. Discarding this shell, letting herself be ripped open by him. 

He’s not done it yet. Doesn’t wanna, to be all that honest. Plenty of BDs to see that. Not that many with ganic’s likin’ it. 

But she’s been insistent. Dextrous fingers purposeful in their urging. And tonight, at her place again she’s reaching some form of deeper want. 

...

In the flickering bathroom light, she is taking of his rags, without his help. It’s like she’s out of it, and he’s amused, at her hunger. 

She’s tracing his exposed plating now, edging lower down his torso. He’s completely hairless she notes, his synth skin rough, thick. She catches the flash of chrome even before he pulls his hands away and she holds in a curse. She was right to not call it a dick. She was preparing for something crazy, something that would make even the most desperate Joy Toy shake but it can’t compare. 

V has seen her fair shares of Jig Jig street ads, dark net market goods, and normal dicks for that matter, but whatever this is it ain’t a Mr. fucking stud. 

The shaft of it, the whole massive length actually is amorphous, protruding bits spiralling out from patches of wires.  
It seems to have close to no organics left, and V shifts at the thought of the pain, of getting that done, especially there, must have been. Scorching. 

It’s tilting upwards, towards his chrome stomach, beyond what would be his navel, also enclosed in metal. Imagining the sheer size, sliding into her, scraping beyond any obstruction, is daunting. 

“Got your wires in a twist yet?”

He’s been watching her examine it, smirking knowingly at her poorly hidden fear. Even though she thought she knew what to prepare for. But she edges her fingers lower, hand grasping, yanking him closer, making him hiss. 

The roughest part of it, near the base look particularly raw and new, bulging, and V realizes, as he fingers trace it, what it resembles. 

“You modded yourself for me?”  
She can’t fucking believe it.  
“Gotta say” - he chuckles as if it’s a particularly good joke - “our parts ain’t the most compatible” - and he thrust up in her hand, the sliding rough, even around her palm.  
-“so hey, I thought, why not” 

V can feel herself flush, cause, fuck, this isn’t what she thought it’d be like. Why is he doing this to her? A suctioner? So fucking unnecessary and gonk and sweet. He must read her freezing as dislike, cause he continues quickly, in one breath. 

“Ya know I can always remove n change it ‘round”

“But aren’t you concerned, at all?”

Her voice cracks. He fucking changed a part of his body for her. A completely useless gimmick that will serve him fuck all with synths and borg chicks. Purely for her. 

“Concerned with what?”

“About your body? Like you’re just gonna pop mods in and out on a whim yeah?” 

She realizes the second she utters those words how meaningless they must sound. 

“Hah! Just a body yeah, one in this life  
only. ´Sides, what would it be there for if not to get it spent.”

It’s not anything she hasn’t heard before. Most of NCs dwellers live from one day to the next, but she’s never heard it the way Dum Dum says it, with pure and utter conviction. She wishes she had a smidge of that confidence in her own ephemerality.

“So if it’s just a body, why not treat me like just one?”

“This again ‘bout you wanting to feel nothin’? Getting raw fucked till ya bleed n’ pass out?” 

He shakes his head, grin loose. Like it’s a joke.

“Ya don’t know what you’re talking’ ‘bout V.”

His grin hardens. 

“Fucking patronising me now? Could have just looked over my shoulder for Johnny to hear that”

That’s right kid

Hearing Johnny just somehow fuels her even more, and she’s sure, so sure now that Dum Dum sees it. 

“Ya think I haven’t tried forcin’ it in before? Ganic cunts break.” 

He steps in, fast and close. Grasping her, and V can see the strain in his forearms, can literally see the turning of the titanium pistons, sliding of wires inbetween the gaps of his synth skin. 

“It just goes straight through, parts all that weak flesh.” 

He’s hissing, his thumb circling beyond her navel, her soft stomach, as if showing her exactly where he’d gore her. They both look down. That spot, so deep in her body, so far, his mod so huge, it raises her arm hairs. Imagining herself, twitching there on her bathroom floor in her own blood, mechanic cock impaling her, V feels nauseous at her own arousal. 

His grip could pulverize her bones into corpo snuff powder, if he just twisted a bit more. Her head is spinning as she presses herself in, brings herself closer in his choking grip till he’s chuckling at her boldness, at her stupidity. 

“I told you, all the way back at Totentanz. I need someone-something more.” 

She kisses, his alloy enclosed throat, where his adams apple would bob about now. 

“I trust you.” 

She smiles at him, and she can tell it fucks him up. 

“Knew you were jacked up in the head, way before that ‘Saka gig.” 

His smirk stretches, straining his metal gauges, but V can also see the calculative way he’s examining her face. Like he is trying to see beyond its organics, beyond any deceit. 

“Why mod yourself for me then? You knew t’was gonna happen. Stop pressing and pushing.” 

He exhales, deeply. And she can tell, it’s like he short fused. Finally got tipped over. Patience gone. 

“Gonna give it to ya, all gently, just like with m’ fingers, till you’ll cry.”

He bends her over, till her chest is draped over her sink and V is almost heaving. She’s clutching the edges of the sink, and she can feel his hand, going through her hair, his segmented cybered fingers hitching in it, stroking her flesh enclosed spine, squeezing her tits, erratically, like he can’t stop and map out all that makes her body so fragile in time -  
He enters her, without warning, with a hiss, almost as if to prove her wrong, to silence her. And V feels silenced. She feels numbed, gagged.

She’s so fucking full V feels like she’s gonna choke all the way up her throat and, fuck, it’s so obvious her cunt wasn’t made - was never biologically intended for this kind of shit, cause his dick-mod- thing, is straining against her insides, like she could be ripped. Like if she breathes an ounce harder she’ll tear. 

He’s thrusting, incredibly slow and somehow, somehow he manages to part her even more, deeper and further, he’s spreading her apart, his metal arm forcing her to arch even more under its weight. 

He’s so heavy, his whole torso presses her into the sink, and she can feel her arms bending underneath her.  
Through the haze Dum Dum licks the side of her face, till V faces him, her breath shaking.

“Will make it preem, just ya wait, M’gonna adjust and then you’ll fucking feel it.”  
He grunts out, and V can only nod and tremble.

He really does do something, like twist inside her or something cause suddenly it feels like all those bends and rough patches on his fucking mod fit as they are meant to. Like they latch onto her insides. 

V manages only a strangled whine in response as he starts thrusting properly, and that straining sucker on his mod is angled right over her G-spot, and he must have turned it on cause it suddenly feels good, too good to be anything else and -  
“Oh god” 

He’s pulling her hair, angling her head till she’s staring at her own panting reflection in the mirror, being railed. So slowly, her skin rippling with each thrust. Her body appears pliant beneath his, so easily crushable, his metal hands just digging and sinking into her skin. His metal, engulfing her. It’s too much, and she can feel herself clench up until he groans.

“You’re fucking sweet like this, ya know that?” 

Her hands flatten against the mirror as she pushes and presses back against him and its his turn to hiss. Like she’s impaling herself, willingly. 

“Never thought a ‘borg cock would be this good”  
At that his breath catches and he slams into her, extra hard. The pain numbing. 

She’s grinding back into him, and she can feel her wetness just glide all over his smooth, cold tech.  
“This like those XBDs you get off to? Fuck a ‘ganic wet fleshole, cause you just miss it a bit too much?”  
From the mirror reflection she can see his head is thrown back, his neck plating flashing with his heavy breathing. He’s moaning.

When he looks down again their gazes lock in the mirror and he speeds up untill she is gasping again, her brows furrowed, tits bouncing at the pounding. His red optics looks endless, and V feels like the longer she stares, the more she feels like handing herself over to the feeling. Looking at his whole body, the clenching metal, all against and over and -fuck- even within her, so contrasting to her own flesh makes her heady. 

V has to to reach between her legs - to feel all that metal gliding in. She’s nowhere close to cumming, the stretch too raw but it- it almost hurts how good it feels to drag him down. Cause Dum Dum looks like like he’s having a short-circ and like he wants-or rather needs to fight it. His body is trembling, coolers hissing and turning at full speed. And his-his optic mod switches and flares and sparks and she can feel him twitch and heat up, mod overworked and fried inside her before he pulls out with a curse, his shoulders slumping. He looks desperately spent, tripped out of his metal skull. 

“Fucking made me switch trip”

His voice is a hiss of burned static that raises her arm hairs. Suddenly, in her yellow bathroom, underneath the flickering LED, Dum Dum looks painfully lost. 

“That’s good no? Felt nice.”  
She turns towards him, smiling, trying to look reassuring. But he’s turning his head away. 

“Hah, fuck, I mean, ya didn’t cum.”

It’s said in a dose of self loathing so high even her dorphed mind catches it. 

“It’s the angle -ah- lemme try something.” 

She’s pushing him back, gently, towards her bed. And he shuffles, lets himself be moved, his dense body sinking deep, pulling her down with his weight. 

...

His mod is still burning as she climbs on top of him, and starts pressing him to her cunt again. The head of his dick is smoothed, argon welded at a superficial slit, all synth dry. V lets a gobble of spit fall from her lips, the saliva stringy, and she smoothes it out as some lands on his cockhead. His whole body twitches, and his optics flicker, in what looks like shame.

“Nah, I, look-I don’t know if it’s not gonna go ‘off ‘gain -“

She moans as she sinks down, silencing him. He’s scorching her insides.  
Filling her with impossible, inhuman heat, even his gaze bathing her flesh in red, V feels like she’s in some personally concocted hell.  
Despite all that heat he’s still somehow frozen, as she starts moving up and down, riding him, using him, like the fucking machine he is. 

She tells it all to him, what a machine he is, hard and preem - and the way Dum Dum starts trembling, his hands gripping and pressing her deeper in, near begging her to use him, his modded out dick, shaped and fitted for only her and her pussy - it’s like she opened up some current port and Dum Dum is desperately overflowing. His filthy whispers feeling more like pleadings.

She picks up the tempo till she’s bouncing on his huge mod, his wire grip hauling her up and down like she weighs nothing to him, like he could do this to her forever. And he’s looking at her, staring in what appears as brutal reverence. 

Seeing his clenching torso, anchored in metal and her pale thighs to her bed, makes V want to throw her head back.  
Cause while he’s making her look pure, unspoiled and even, skin unmarred, nerve endings not yet knotted and charred beyon’ repair, she ain’t all that different. If anything, the way Dum Dum is straining right now, his mouth open in an electrified snarl, half in fear, half in some trance makes her clench in familiarity. 

She cums this time, while holding him down, grinding and tilting her pelvis, using his mod to the fullest to stroke that one spot. Seeing that seems to tip him over the edge, and he cums, with what feels like an electric shock bringing her to fucking life and V has no time to even scream as he drags her off, the pain exhilarating. 

If she feels spent, Dum Dum looks burned, electric synapses fried, skull joints steaming, optics off. They’re in complete darkness now, warm, twisted against eachother. 

She’s breathing heavily still, but he’s oddly quiet.  
He turns to her, upon her touch. 

“You okay?” V whispers, as carefully as she can. 

His optics blink to life, gradually and slowly. Their light mellower, calmer somehow. 

“All Nova.” 

He pulls her in, positioning her till she’s settled in all the nooks and bends of his chromed body, touching mostly its softer bits.  
The way they’re lying, post docking, V dares to call it familiar, domestic. Her mind must be gone. 

It must be why she opens her mouth. Why she ruins it. 

“I’m gonna get creased real soon now.”  
And it’s - she doesn’t know why she’s bringing it up. Laying it on all thick like that. Like he hasn’t heard it a million fucking times by now. 

But he still turns to her, and V’s chest clenches, ‘bout the place her heart should be. Dum Dum just wordlessly lights her some blue glass, and V can feel the edges of relief tongling all the way to her toes as she takes a drag.

It’s his weird way of caring. Of being careful with her even. Like he wants her - this - to continue. Sometimes it scares her, when she has one of those out body experiences. Remembers how she intially got with him cause she is so close to scrapping anyways. Just accelerating the process a tad now, letting him do the work. And he’s not, he’s not so into it as she thought he’d be. If anything, it looks like Dum Dum wants her to wreck him, unscrew and tear each gauge and plate while digging him into her. He’s fucking numb already. More interested in feeling. In pleasing her even.

She feels clammy as she curls into him. His metal cooling her as she takes another drag. Opening just wide enough for the blue smoke to pile up and disappear within the neon. 

“You ever heard of Alt Cunnigham? She got sucked into the ‘Space.”

His mouth, the softest part of him, traces her shoulder, mapping her non-synth skin with a degree of fascination that makes her flush. 

“Silverhand’s input? For real?” 

V almost forgets what a SAMURAI chromer he is. She can feel her mouth curling upwards, against her will. The irony.

“She configged the thing that made me like this. Course Arasaka got it’s dirty hands on it.”

“Ya already were flatlined once V, and then you came kickin’ back, hard.” 

He sounds certain. Red Eyes locked on her, with some weird delight. She has to correct him. 

“Look, it ain’t all that hard, was just drifting there, in cyberspace, the darkness. Was fucked up.”

“How was it?” 

He sounds hungry. Scarily interested, his hands bringing her face closer, grasping it with just one hand. 

“Beyond words.”  
She takes a drag, letting the blue smoke build up, till it burns and stings and she exhales, in a cloud of teal.  
“Never thought such emptiness could exist.”

“Still, ya must have only skimmed the surface of the Space.” 

“Where does all this confidence about there being something beyond come from? The net is controlled, constricted.” 

“There’s always chaos in any system. However preem and tight. Ya think nothing ever wanted to venture beyond? So what if it’s an AI or a fucking moddy like your Silverhand here.”

He taps her temples, grin curling. 

“Gotta get out of it V.” 

This junkie is fucking out of his own head V. Alt got destroyed, mind frayed in there. 

From the few people she has told, about her condition, her own friendly parasite, Dum Dum took it the most in stride. Like nothing in this world could fucking surprise him anymore. 

“But I’m gonna die real soon now, I really think I will.”

Her voice cracks, and V can feel the way her throat constricts. Like pushing any more sound through will hurt. 

“Who ain’t in NC. What I’m sayin’ is that ya gotta get out of this thinking. So what if you’ll end up etched deep into the ‘Net. Leavin’ this shithole, this body, ain’t the end of it.”

His belief, in whatever occult there is left in this cybered world, is touching. 

She smiles at him, crookedly.  
“I know what Maelstrom say about the weakness of flesh. How getting hexed ain’t loss, but how come only those who aren’t ‘ver the edge talk about it?” 

“Some stuff can’t be put into words, when ya step over. It’s the inbweteen of the old and new world. The new one just a bit more in focus.”

“I hope to see it that way too.” 

She’s turned towards him. His red mods seem endless as he grins

“Heh, see ya in this next life then” 

V can only nod as she takes a drag. Her own room seems hazy, from the smoke, her tears. His hand is clutching hers, crushingly hard. But she needs it. 

Dum Dum is staring off into some point, beyond her walls, all the static, grinning. She wonders what it is that he sees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all incredibly much for reading this far. Would love to hear what you thought <3


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